Pants on the Ground

A recap of my morning: I joined the Official Spring Into Shape Bootcamp Challenge this morning. I'm finding myself in need of changing up my workout routine. It's getting a little boring, a little monotonous. Also, living in Arizona, it's starting to be hot as a muthah when I'm free to run or hike. I had to find a little something to do indoors when the weather is unbearable.

I went to Kohl's this morning to buy some new workout gear. Though it shouldn't really matter, I'm starting to dislike looking all baggy when I'm out running. But it's hard finding shorts (I don't like running pants) that aren't daisy dukes and won't get 'crack stuck' or ride up my inner thighs when I'm running. It's sort of awkward to pull at your outfit while there's lots of traffic and/or you're trying to stay focused on your workout.

I bought a FILA skirt/short thing that was on sale for $16.20, so you can't even tell if it does happen, haha. It fits well at the waist and shows off my thighs in a flattering way. Plus it has a hidden pocket for my iPod - BONUS!

Sports bras, oh, sports bras. It's hard to find a comfortable one that doesn't make me flat as a board. Don't get me wrong. I don't want the girls to smack me in the chin while I'm jogging, but I still like to feel feminine. I actually found a style I really like by a brand called Tek Gear. On sale for $13.99 each, plus I had a 20% off coupon for my entire purchase. Yep, this girl RARELY pays full price for clothes!



Then I headed out to Target to buy resistance bands to start the Spring Challenge. Light? Medium? Heavy? Not a clue! I split the difference and went with medium. $10.49. Purchased.



So I got back home all amped to do the first Challenge video. A few minutes in, it was time for 30 seconds of jumping jacks. First jump. Uh oh. You guessed it. Pants on the ground. Well, technically, it was shorts. Silly girl. I had on a pair of old athletic shorts. Well, not for long, haha. Not one to stop a workout, I sorta kicked them off and finished in my undies. This is why I don't work out at a gym, LoL.

I may not be graceful. I may not be bashful. But I'll be damned if someone tells me I'm not determined.

Discovering Beautiful

I've been hitting up the local Goodwill stores the last couple of weekends. I used to look down on thrift stores, incorrectly assuming it was for poor people and that the items were of a lower quality. WRONG! My best friend got me turned onto thrift store shopping during my last trip home in January. I was getting shirts for a dollar, dishes for cheap. We went the day after a holiday so everything was HALF OFF on top of that - uhhh awesome!!! (Here in AZ, the half off days are every other Saturday - SCORE!!)

It was after this multi-city Goodwill trek back home that I realized, DUH!! I am NOT spending oodles of cash every time my size changes throughout this weight loss process. My last name isn't Rockefeller, after all. I'm sticking to thrift stores - not only are they cheap, it's good stuff, stuff I would buy new for myself. Another perk: you know the clothes have already been washed, so you don't have to worry about shrinkage. This is huge for me since I have a long torso and shirts always seem to shrink up!

These past two weekends, I have spent a total of $40 on 10 items: 3 skirts ~ 2 blouses (one from Torrid for only $1.99 - probably retailed for $40 or so) ~ 1 workout tee ~ 1 short sleeved hoodie ~ 1 pair of dress slacks ~ 1 pair of denim capris ~ 1 formal, strapless dress

Needless to say, I am completely stoked about being able to trade out the 'fat' clothes in my closet for some that actually fit. I took some pictures of what I was wearing 3 1/2 months ago versus what I wear today. A little 'out with the old, in with the new', if you will...

Denim capris, size 13 ($5.99 at Goodwill today) on top of size 18

Skirts, size 14 ($2.49 at Goodwill last week) on top of size 20W

Jeans, size 15 ($5.99 at Ross) on top of size 20

Dresses, size L ($9.99 at Goodwill) on top of a 16W (that was entirely too tight when I bought it last June)

Then I decided I wanted to see how my 'fat jeans' fit these days...

What an amazing feeling! These are gonna be the jeans I keep around. They were my Old Faithful. If I was bloated or depressed, or even just feeling frumpy, these bad boys were my go-to bottoms. They have officially been retired and will now own a hallowed space in my closet. Only to be taken out for photo ops :)

I always dreamt of being able to have the kind of before and after photos that make people go, "Holy Hell, Batman! How did you do that?!?" I didn't actually think it could, or would happen. It can. Undoubtedly. This chunky girl is proof.

First, you need to find your inner spark. One day it'll just click. You can decide to lose weight for a myriad of reasons - reasons that are completely valid and important. However, 'I'm doing this for me' should be priority numero uno.

I look forward to heading home this weekend and showing off my bod. Wait, what?!? There's something I've never thought, let alone said, before, LoL. I know I'm in store for lots of compliments.

What I really want to hear is that I look healthier. I hate it when people start a compliment with, "You've always been beautiful, but now..." I only recall one person ever telling me I was beautiful when I was at my chunkiest, so those "you've always..." comments fall on deaf, unbelieving ears.

When I see my old pictures, my heavy pictures, I don't see beauty. I see pain behind that smile. I see loneliness. But now? Now, I see a more defined jawline. I see my arms getting slimmed down. I see less of that cruel second chin. I see that smart ass, hilarious, witty girl I've always been. I see a sparkle in my eye. I see a smile I believe. I see beauty. I see a future filled with confidence. I see me.

I wish this moment for each one of you. Find that sparkle. Smile more. Laugh often. Be confident. Live, really live.

Every girl deserves to be told she's beautiful.

Make a Decision

As I was out hiking this morning, I had an epiphany. Well, not really, but sometimes a productive thought passes through this noggin of mine, so I thought I'd share it.

When I started hiking my mountain regularly, I made the conscious decision to not take the road more traveled. Granted, it's the same trail everyone else uses, but I don't take the smoother path - the path that has been ground down to dirt and pebbles from all the foot traffic. I choose to walk a couple feet over, where the larger rocks have been kicked 'out of the way', where the ascent/descent is a little steeper and takes a little more coordination to navigate through.

Now, my entire life I have been a frontrunner for the imaginary title of 'Miss Uncoordinated', so choosing this option was a surprise even to me. But I wanted results. I can hike a little slower and get my muscles more toned by the extra motion and lunges that I need to perform. It has now become second nature to take the rocky road less traveled during my hike.

This morning, I realized * light bulb moment * that this is an analogy for how I want to live my life.

That easier path...what happened when I took that route? What did it ever do for me? Well, for starters, it got me up to 265 pounds. It made me comfortable. I had my immediate family and I had my best friend. I never did anything without at least one of them. I was unhappy, but I was set in my ways and not willing/too afraid to try something new. It was smooth; it was (for the most part) drama-free.

Now, drama-free is fine and dandy and is something I definitely want to strive for in the future. But I'm not ready for the dust to settle on my rocky road just yet. I need to work towards something. During this difficult journey, I will trip and I will stumble. I will skin my knee and come across roadblocks. I need to prove that I can adapt to the elements. That I can overcome anything and everything life can throw my way.

I still have my immediate family and I still have my best friend. But now I want so much more. I WILL move back to California this year. I WON'T be afraid to go to the several parties I get invited to. I WILL get on the dance floor. I WILL ride that mechanical bull. I want to get out. I want to enjoy life. I want to meet new people. I want to go back to school.

Until then, I will continue to ask myself one thing. And I pose this same question to you:

It's decision time - which path are you going to take today?

My Dirty Little Weight Loss Secret

Wow, I hope you didn't really think there was a secret! There's not. No magic wand or miracle pill or special shake. You've got to put the phrase 'hard work' into your vocabulary. A weight loss journey is only as successful as your mindset.

After years of just hoping I would be skinny when I woke up in the morning, I've gotten my brain to realize that the best things in life are worth working hard for.

Friends and family have been asking what I've been doing, how I've been getting these results, so I figured I would give you the rundown of a regular day, nutrition and fitness wise:

NUTRITION - A typical day consists of:

• Breakfast (with water):
• fruit (a banana, an apple or 1 cup of cantaloupe)
• chocolate chunk granola bar.
• Lunch (with water):
• sandwich (2 slices of bread with either peanut butter and jam or ham, american cheese, pickles and mustard)
• light string cheese
• pudding cup
• Dinner (with 1 cup of 1% milk):
• chicken breast or steak
• broccoli, carrots and/or potato
• 3 country biscuits with strawberry jam
• Dessert:
• a Smart Ones snack or 1 serving of fruit with light yogurt

Throughout the day, I drink at least 8 glasses of water (usually 9 or 10), which isn't that difficult once you get used to it. I drink 5 glasses at work alone.

(dinner example: foil wrapped chicken breast, with broccoli and carrots - mmm)

EXERCISE - A typical weekday:

• After getting home from work, I throw on my workout gear and iPod and hit the sidewalk to get my cardio in. I jog/walk a 2 mile trek up and down my street, which has peaks and valleys because it surrounds a mountain.
• Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I also do strength training exercises that focus on entire body, upper body and core, respectively.

EXERCISE - A typical weekend day:

• I usually wake up around 7am, get my gear on and drive a couple miles to the base of the mountain where my trailhead begins. Nowadays, I'll hike 3-4 laps around my trail, where each lap is 1.2 miles. Usually out of there in about an hour, depending.

I am *thisclose* to having lost 30 pounds this year. But I'm not only seeing results on the scale. My clothes are fitting better or falling off, I feel more energetic, my skin is healthy and hydrated. But I have medical proof, too: my cholesterol.

(my cholesterol has gone from 245 to 141 in less than a year)

My BMI has gone from 31.6 to 28.3 in less than 3 months, and took me out of the Obese category about a month ago.

I realize this type of plan isn't something that many people can do, but it works for me because I have no family obligations (kids, husband, etc.) out here to have to plan my days around.

I think one of the biggest tools in my journey so far has been SparkPeople.com. It's easiest to describe as a health focused facebook. You have friends, blogs, statuses. But there are food trackers, exercises/fitness measurement tools, articles and quizzes. It's great to have the support of a community who knows what you're going through because they're exactly where you are, or have been there at some point in their lives. They just 'get it'.

So anyhoo, that's what I've been up to.

Finding ONEderland

I went straight from kids' clothes to the Misses section for my apparel. It's 1996 and I'm in the 8th grade, standing in line to get weighed during PhysEd physical time. Dreading getting on the scale up on the stage. 200 pounds. Ouch. Then the next girl got on the scale. A girl who was as tall as me, but wider. I was positive her weight would make me feel better. No such luck. She was 180. How is that possible? I felt defeated. So embarrassed. So ashamed. But I made no changes.

High school slowly dragged on. My weight was anywhere from 200-220 lbs throughout those four awkward years. I played softball one year, so my body changed, but my weight didn't. I was your classic 'smart girl'. The chunky, frumpy clothed, bespectacled, freckled nerd who didn't know how to manage her hair. I was also the funny girl, the tomboy. But boys only noticed me when they needed help in Honors classes.

College followed. Then work. I never took care of myself. I ate whatever was in front of me. Whatever food was in the house. Whatever fast food Dad sent me out to get. We didn't have a kitchen table, so all meals were devoured in front of the TV. Plus, the seconds and sometimes thirds.

And there I was in 2007. 265 pounds on my 5'10" frame. Unhappy. I didn't love myself. I sort of just existed. Watching the people around me living their lives and thinking, 'That could, no, that SHOULD be me!'

I started using the Alli system and was able to drop 30 lbs with the assistance. But all I did was take the pills. I didn't change one bit. I was eating the same. I wasn't exercising. I was relying on something other than myself.

I met a boy in 2008 who lived here in Arizona while I was living in California. In 2010, I moved to be closer to him. He kept stringing me along, but his 'affection' was all I knew. So I held onto the hope that I just had to prove I could be good for him. I kept fighting for him.

Until January 2, 2012, that is. I had had enough.

I said goodbye. I started the journey to loving myself. I am worth so much more than what he could offer me.

I deserve a healthy life. I deserve to only have healthy relationships in my life. I will not be held back any longer by poor decisions (or indecisions) I've made in the past. I am living in the right here, right now to build a better future.

Then, this morning it happened...



I haven't seen a 1 at the beginning of my weight in at least 16 years. What a crazy feeling!

My friends and family are leaving unbelievably supportive messages on my facebook page and via text messages and phone calls. I can't tell you how important it is that I came across SparkPeople. I wouldn't be having the success I am without the tools on this website and the support of my SparkFamily.

Old Dog, New Tricks

I used to eat when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was watching TV, when I had a craving, when someone else had food, when I had nothing better to do and whenever I wanted, just because I could.

When I decided at the beginning of the year that 2012 was going to bring a new Shelby into the picture, I had to make a lot of changes. I had to teach this old dog new tricks.

It sounds simple. Output needs to be greater than intake. I need to be active. I need to move around. I need to break a sweat. I need to kick my butt into shape. No one else can do that for me. I need to realize that I need to be healthy. I do not want to have the health problems that my family experiences due to weight issues.

I need to stop using food as a crutch. Food is not my friend. It should not give me the warm fuzzies. Food is fuel. Nothing more. Nothing less. Food is there to help me survive.

I can run. I can jog. I can walk. That's the easy part. Giving up one of my greatest loves is difficult. Food has always been there for me. It's hard to say goodbye.

I don't eat past 7:30pm. That's when the cravings used to hit. But I needed to be strong. At the 4 week mark, I don't rush home for Starbursts or cookies. I don't need to reward myself at the end of the night with four scoops of ice cream covered in chocolate syrup.

My reward is weight loss. My reward is my health. My reward is my future.