Pants on the Ground

A recap of my morning: I joined the Official Spring Into Shape Bootcamp Challenge this morning. I'm finding myself in need of changing up my workout routine. It's getting a little boring, a little monotonous. Also, living in Arizona, it's starting to be hot as a muthah when I'm free to run or hike. I had to find a little something to do indoors when the weather is unbearable.

I went to Kohl's this morning to buy some new workout gear. Though it shouldn't really matter, I'm starting to dislike looking all baggy when I'm out running. But it's hard finding shorts (I don't like running pants) that aren't daisy dukes and won't get 'crack stuck' or ride up my inner thighs when I'm running. It's sort of awkward to pull at your outfit while there's lots of traffic and/or you're trying to stay focused on your workout.

I bought a FILA skirt/short thing that was on sale for $16.20, so you can't even tell if it does happen, haha. It fits well at the waist and shows off my thighs in a flattering way. Plus it has a hidden pocket for my iPod - BONUS!

Sports bras, oh, sports bras. It's hard to find a comfortable one that doesn't make me flat as a board. Don't get me wrong. I don't want the girls to smack me in the chin while I'm jogging, but I still like to feel feminine. I actually found a style I really like by a brand called Tek Gear. On sale for $13.99 each, plus I had a 20% off coupon for my entire purchase. Yep, this girl RARELY pays full price for clothes!



Then I headed out to Target to buy resistance bands to start the Spring Challenge. Light? Medium? Heavy? Not a clue! I split the difference and went with medium. $10.49. Purchased.



So I got back home all amped to do the first Challenge video. A few minutes in, it was time for 30 seconds of jumping jacks. First jump. Uh oh. You guessed it. Pants on the ground. Well, technically, it was shorts. Silly girl. I had on a pair of old athletic shorts. Well, not for long, haha. Not one to stop a workout, I sorta kicked them off and finished in my undies. This is why I don't work out at a gym, LoL.

I may not be graceful. I may not be bashful. But I'll be damned if someone tells me I'm not determined.

Discovering Beautiful

I've been hitting up the local Goodwill stores the last couple of weekends. I used to look down on thrift stores, incorrectly assuming it was for poor people and that the items were of a lower quality. WRONG! My best friend got me turned onto thrift store shopping during my last trip home in January. I was getting shirts for a dollar, dishes for cheap. We went the day after a holiday so everything was HALF OFF on top of that - uhhh awesome!!! (Here in AZ, the half off days are every other Saturday - SCORE!!)

It was after this multi-city Goodwill trek back home that I realized, DUH!! I am NOT spending oodles of cash every time my size changes throughout this weight loss process. My last name isn't Rockefeller, after all. I'm sticking to thrift stores - not only are they cheap, it's good stuff, stuff I would buy new for myself. Another perk: you know the clothes have already been washed, so you don't have to worry about shrinkage. This is huge for me since I have a long torso and shirts always seem to shrink up!

These past two weekends, I have spent a total of $40 on 10 items: 3 skirts ~ 2 blouses (one from Torrid for only $1.99 - probably retailed for $40 or so) ~ 1 workout tee ~ 1 short sleeved hoodie ~ 1 pair of dress slacks ~ 1 pair of denim capris ~ 1 formal, strapless dress

Needless to say, I am completely stoked about being able to trade out the 'fat' clothes in my closet for some that actually fit. I took some pictures of what I was wearing 3 1/2 months ago versus what I wear today. A little 'out with the old, in with the new', if you will...

Denim capris, size 13 ($5.99 at Goodwill today) on top of size 18

Skirts, size 14 ($2.49 at Goodwill last week) on top of size 20W

Jeans, size 15 ($5.99 at Ross) on top of size 20

Dresses, size L ($9.99 at Goodwill) on top of a 16W (that was entirely too tight when I bought it last June)

Then I decided I wanted to see how my 'fat jeans' fit these days...

What an amazing feeling! These are gonna be the jeans I keep around. They were my Old Faithful. If I was bloated or depressed, or even just feeling frumpy, these bad boys were my go-to bottoms. They have officially been retired and will now own a hallowed space in my closet. Only to be taken out for photo ops :)

I always dreamt of being able to have the kind of before and after photos that make people go, "Holy Hell, Batman! How did you do that?!?" I didn't actually think it could, or would happen. It can. Undoubtedly. This chunky girl is proof.

First, you need to find your inner spark. One day it'll just click. You can decide to lose weight for a myriad of reasons - reasons that are completely valid and important. However, 'I'm doing this for me' should be priority numero uno.

I look forward to heading home this weekend and showing off my bod. Wait, what?!? There's something I've never thought, let alone said, before, LoL. I know I'm in store for lots of compliments.

What I really want to hear is that I look healthier. I hate it when people start a compliment with, "You've always been beautiful, but now..." I only recall one person ever telling me I was beautiful when I was at my chunkiest, so those "you've always..." comments fall on deaf, unbelieving ears.

When I see my old pictures, my heavy pictures, I don't see beauty. I see pain behind that smile. I see loneliness. But now? Now, I see a more defined jawline. I see my arms getting slimmed down. I see less of that cruel second chin. I see that smart ass, hilarious, witty girl I've always been. I see a sparkle in my eye. I see a smile I believe. I see beauty. I see a future filled with confidence. I see me.

I wish this moment for each one of you. Find that sparkle. Smile more. Laugh often. Be confident. Live, really live.

Every girl deserves to be told she's beautiful.

Make a Decision

As I was out hiking this morning, I had an epiphany. Well, not really, but sometimes a productive thought passes through this noggin of mine, so I thought I'd share it.

When I started hiking my mountain regularly, I made the conscious decision to not take the road more traveled. Granted, it's the same trail everyone else uses, but I don't take the smoother path - the path that has been ground down to dirt and pebbles from all the foot traffic. I choose to walk a couple feet over, where the larger rocks have been kicked 'out of the way', where the ascent/descent is a little steeper and takes a little more coordination to navigate through.

Now, my entire life I have been a frontrunner for the imaginary title of 'Miss Uncoordinated', so choosing this option was a surprise even to me. But I wanted results. I can hike a little slower and get my muscles more toned by the extra motion and lunges that I need to perform. It has now become second nature to take the rocky road less traveled during my hike.

This morning, I realized * light bulb moment * that this is an analogy for how I want to live my life.

That easier path...what happened when I took that route? What did it ever do for me? Well, for starters, it got me up to 265 pounds. It made me comfortable. I had my immediate family and I had my best friend. I never did anything without at least one of them. I was unhappy, but I was set in my ways and not willing/too afraid to try something new. It was smooth; it was (for the most part) drama-free.

Now, drama-free is fine and dandy and is something I definitely want to strive for in the future. But I'm not ready for the dust to settle on my rocky road just yet. I need to work towards something. During this difficult journey, I will trip and I will stumble. I will skin my knee and come across roadblocks. I need to prove that I can adapt to the elements. That I can overcome anything and everything life can throw my way.

I still have my immediate family and I still have my best friend. But now I want so much more. I WILL move back to California this year. I WON'T be afraid to go to the several parties I get invited to. I WILL get on the dance floor. I WILL ride that mechanical bull. I want to get out. I want to enjoy life. I want to meet new people. I want to go back to school.

Until then, I will continue to ask myself one thing. And I pose this same question to you:

It's decision time - which path are you going to take today?